Happy 2012! Free predictions for everyone!

May all your predictions come true, especially as the festive Christmas day points went unclaimed yet again. The new year has already claimed its first scalp, that of much-loved gameshow host Bob Holness, who shuffled off in his sleep aged 83.

So, in honour of 2012, the number of predictions allowed has now been set to lucky seven. Anyone wishing to update their lists can nominate their extra choice(s) here – but remember, no one who is already upon The List can be picked again. First come, first served, and all that!

Not his best Korea move

Some say he died years ago. But finally, today, everyone’s favourite entertainment channel North Korean State TV confirmed the sad news that long-serving Kim Jong Il has popped off, aged 69 or thereabouts. And apparently he died on a train, which is most queer.

Communists may mourn his passing, but we here in the decadent west will also weep more than a tear or two, because his demise sadly means no more of this.

One person at least will do a happy little dance – predictor Anna-Belle scores again, knocking Corey off his throne at the top of the leaderboard.

In other news, former Czech dissident, playwright and head of state Vaclav Havel died in his sleep after a long illness, aged 75. Also, in a recent flurry of deadly activity, author and journalist Christopher Hitchens, 62, shuffled off , as did country singing legend Billie Jo Spears, 74, along with that nice Harry Morgan, who played Col. Potter in M*A*S*H and made it to 96. None of these people died on a train, as far as we know.

Meanwhile, November claimed not only the scalp of boxer Joe Frazier, 65, but also that of Svetlana Alliluyeva, 85, daughter of one Joseph Stalin, leaving her never having to answer the “And what did your father do in the war?” question ever again.

Jim’ll nix it

Just the other day, several Clogpoppers Predictors gathered together, over a canteen lunch, to ponder the current status of one Sir James ‘Jimmy’ Savile. Well, now we know. Fatal pneumonia at the age of 84.

The bestower of cheap medals* to small children in the 70s who wanted to ride rollercoasters and smash up valuable items, Jim brought either joy or a sense of unease, depending on whether you appreciated his charitable exploits or had watched the rather creepy documentary about his dead mother’s well-preserved wardrobe.

Cigars all round, but Jimmy’s passing means the first points on the board for Matt Lee, who has been expecting this news for several years. If we can track him down, we’ll record his undoubtedly emotional reaction for Clogposterity.

*[Bonus point to any Predictor with a Jim'll Fix It medal]

Can we please have the points from the Libyan jury…

They say celebrity deaths come in threes.. And October obliged by kicking off with Apple supremo Steve Jobs, 56, followed it up by grabbing ‘Coronation Street’ and hotpot supremo Betty Driver, 91, and then rounded things off nicely with the You Tube-friendly popping of Libyan supremo Muammar “Colonel” Gaddafi.

After the fairly recent coup of Liz Taylor, this news* has seen Corey scurrying triumphantly to the top of the Clogpoppers leaderboard.  Debate is currently swirling over the exact details of Gaddafi’s passing, but Clogpoppers can see no reason to avoid handing out the extra two “murder points”, although should jerky mobile phone-snapped footage of the actual point of death be confirmed, a further point will be added for the bonus “public assassination” point. You gotta love hunted dictators!

*Corey’s original prediction said that Gaddafi would face “death by spider bite”, which would have garnered an 20-point Bizarre Prediction Bonus. However, the eyewitness reports still coming out of Sirte seem to pooh-pooh this idea, and we at Clogpoppers have no reason to disbelieve them at present.

Quit your Wine-ing!

While everyone else is gasping with horror, Clogpoppers is always rather pleased with itself when a prediction hits the bullseye of the last breath. And bedraggled songbird Amy Winehouse obliged, joining in the fun by drinking herself to the other side at the weekend at the tender age of 27.

Such antics have resulted in the scoreboard debut of Sasa, who rocketed from a ranking of nowhere to joint first, with his additional three points coming for a pop under the age of 40. [Interesting note: If the coroner records a verdict of 'suicide', an additional two points will be added, propelling Sasa to the very apex of the leaderboard!]

 

June – a waste of time

It comes to something when the best-known person to die in a month is the man who played TV detective Lt. Colombo. Sigh.

Meanwhile the evergreen Zsa Zsa Gabor, aged about 137 and surely running on fumes by now, was photographed sipping champagne at her toyboy husband’s birthday celebrations. Clogpoppers has given up on her and itself raises a glass of the fizzy stuff to her eternal life.

Hello May, cheerio Bin Laden!

On a momentous day for the World’s Most Wanted List, and indeed the more prestigious Clogpoppers List, it has been reported – nay, confirmed – that criminal mastermind and radical Islamist Osama Bin Laden, 54, has been killed by US troops, following a “firefight”. Not too many tears being shed around the world, I imagine, although the conspiracy theories have already begun, starting with the fact that he died on the same date as Hitler.

This means zombieboy Alex gets his first points on the board, and also – in a Clogpoppers first – gets the two extra ‘kill’ points. Happy days.

Somewhat overshadowed in the day’s news coverage, I see British heavyweight boxing legend and former ‘A Question of Sport’ captain Henry Cooper has also died, aged 76. His former opponent Muhammad Ali is said to be ‘lost for words’.

Elizabeth Taylor – popped!

Never write up the quarterly review too early. One celebrity will always step in and pop off out of spite, it seems.

After many years of illness, legendary screen beauty and even more legendary wife of many, Elizabeth Taylor finally kicked the diamante-studded bucket and headed off to join several of her ex-husbands.

79 and finally out with congestive heart failure, prepare for Hollywood’s great and good getting all emotional. But at least we’re going to be spared the sight of Michael Jackson at the funeral.

Congratulations go to Corey, who predicted this momentous event a while back and so makes his debut on the score chart!

2011: Jan-March quarterly review

No need for a monthly update, as records show that the first three months of 2011 to be probably the quietest ever for celebrity death. Sigh.

After the promising start made by Pete Postlethwaite, many of our biggest names refused to follow the trend and just dug in for the duration. Nelson Mandela, Ronnie Biggs and Elizabeth Taylor all made it as far as hospital, while the seemingly indestructible Zsa Zsa Gabor carried on living despite having her leg amputated.

Only legendary starlet Jane Russell steppped up and did her bit for Hollywood’s obituary columns, dying of respiratory failure at the age of 89. In politics, US envoy Warren Christopher shook his last hand and bowed out, aged 85. And for all you Dr Who fans out there, a field report from our correspondent Father Maurice confirmed the death of actor Nicholas Courtney at 81, who played The Brigadier in the series.

But sad news just in from Berlin: Celebrity polar bear Knut died unexpectedly this weekend, aged just 4. The cause of death of the Vanity Fair cover star and former ball of white fluff is still being investigated.

2011 kicks off!

Three days in and the new year claims its first pop. Actorrrrr Pete Postlethwaite [oh, you'd know him if you saw him, yes you would] died at 64 after a battle with cancer.

And attention, all you 70s disco fans! Slipping under the radar right at the end of 2010, fellow Predictor Jeannie informed Clogpoppers of the mysterious demise of  ‘fro-with-a-side-parting-wearing Bobby from the band Boney M. No cause of death has been determined as yet but Clogpoppers is delighted that his BBC obit contains the line “The singer was found dead in a hotel room in St Petersburg, Russia, where he had been performing…” Yes. Performing. Hotel rooms. Say no more.

Meanwhile, sharpen those obituary-writing pencils as those of you on ZsaZsaWatch will be interested to hear she’s gone in for amputation surgery…

Deadpan. And now just dead

Clogpoppers is unusually sad to report the passing of Airplane! actor Leslie Nielsen, aged 84, after complications from pneumonia. Sad because the life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn’t have fish for dinner. Thank you, Leslie. You were surely a comedy god. And we didn’t even call you Shir….oh, shoot!

But big congratulations to Kittus, who makes his first appearance on the non-zero section of the scoreboard as a result! This makes up for a near miss at the weekend when the wrong Bernie was mistakenly snatched by friend-of-the-blog Mr G Reaper, who picked off turkey king Bernard Matthews rather than the more favoured Bernie Ecclestone.

There are celebrity deaths. And then there are celebrity deaths.

And this is a celebrity death if ever there was one…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11626050

Yes. The sad day finally arrived. And yet not one of us saw it coming. Even, perhaps, he himself didn’t, which is strange, considering his predictive powers.

Norman Wisdom cops it for points!

Doing his kind bit for the Clogpoppers league table*, comedy legend Norman Wisdom finally bit the dust at the age of 95. His age means most of our fathers will shed a manly tear at his passing,  while – for some odd reason best known to themselves –  Albania will probably declare a day of mourning, as Mr Wisdom was a cult figure there. Strange people, the Albanians.

*Well, ME, anyway! Huzzah for 3 points! I’m going to replace Norman with Stephen Hawking.

September: Some Like It Dead

After 85 years of a well-lived life, actor-painter and Marilyn-snogger Tony Curtis finally popped his clogs after a cardiac arrest in his Nevada home. But after six marriages, we’re surprised he didn’t go a damn sight earlier than he eventually did [are you listening, Zsa Zsa?]

Presenting… ZsaZsaWatch!

Deserving of her own special post, ZsaZsaWatch [or ZZW] is to commemorate the plucky fight for life displayed by the much-married Ms Gabor, 93-ish. Despite being given the last rites about a month ago after various surgeries and hospital trips, she has refused to buckle under the bloodthirsty demand for points, and has simply carried on living. Out of spite? Maybe, but Clogpoppers salutes her and her fortitude!

Today’s ZZW bulletin is from the Toronto Sun…
Her husband Prince Frederic von Anhalt tells German magazine Bunte, “She is eating. She eats like a bird, though. Only mash and Jello Jelly. From time to time she drinks a bit of orange juice as well.

Mash AND Jello Jelly? Well, if that doesn’t kill her off, Clogpoppers has no idea what will…..

August: All quiet on the death front

A scan through Wikipedia’s ‘Recent Deaths’ for August reported some interesting demises, but no celebrity sightings. Mr Grim Reaper must be on his summer holidays…

Just as July was dragging to its dull conclusion….

…following an even drier June, hellraisin’, hard livin’ snooker champ Alex Higgins potted the black for the last time and put down his cue, aged 61, after a long battle with throat cancer. Flashback to the 80s and the TV announcer saying “And now, back to the Crucible in Sheffield….”

In other news close to the heart of Clogpopper-followers everywhere, two giants of American comedy died recently. First Rue McClanahan – Blanche in ‘The Golden Girls’ – died aged 76, following a stroke, which answers my question from a much earlier post about whether all the Golden Girls would die before alll the Beatles. Now it’s just Betty White vs Paul and Ringo.

And Seinfeld fans everywhere mourned the passing of George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees and inspiration for one of the great unseen characters in sitcom history – George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees and boss of George Costanza. He died aged 80 after a heart attack.

But some are still refusing to give it up. One of my predictions – the seemingly eternal Zsa Zsa Gabor, said to be 93 – is said to be recovering “nicely” after falling and then enduring hip replacement surgery. For heaven’s sake!

May: Skipping The List

After a relatively dull few weeks, May saved the best until the last weekend and then unleashed a double whammy of celebrity poppers.

First Gary Coleman of ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ fame banged his head and went to live in the big house in the sky, aged 42. His last words were not rumoured to have been “Whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis?”

Then, after a long fight against prostate cancer, the only upside of which was permission to smoke as much ‘medical’ marijuana as he liked [and he DID like!], Dennis Hopper finally crashed out at the age of 74. Many a death list had been on Hopperwatch, and considering his wild life enjoying every excess Hollywood had to offer, we’re surprised he lasted as long as he did, quite frankly. Good on you, Dennis!

In the rest of May, apart from yet another Redgrave family member, nothing much happened. Certainly no points on the big board for any of us around here. Must try harder….

April revs up!

A third of the way into April and they’re dropping like flies! The world of entertainment lost a brace of smooth operators in the form of Dynasty stars John Forsythe and Christopher Cazenove, another Redgrave family member – Corin, this time – went and then infamous Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren popped, aged 64, after battling a rare form of cancer.

And then not only did the Polish PM Lech Kaczynski buy the farm, but one of the last surviving ‘Wizard of Oz’ munchkins, Meinhardt Raabe, finally got carried out of the Emerald City by a winged monkey. There is indeed no place like home.

It’s all go. Still, none of this meant any points to anyone. C’mon, people, apparently there’s still a few Munchkins left!

Almost the first murder points!

Soham murderer and Clogpoppers prediction Ian Huntley had his throat slashed in prison. Apparently there was so much blood that it looked unlikely that anyone could have survived such an attack, but – sadly – survive he did. Had the knife-wielding other inmate succeeded this would have meant the first ‘extra’ points on the board – in fact, a whopping five extra points. Two for the murder and three extra for someone popping under the age of 40! Delores Wattinger must be kicking herself for not being propelled right to the top of the leaderboard, or at the very least writing to the Home Office for compensation.

Elsewhere, the ‘Voice of Boxing’ Harry Carpenter has gone to the great commentary box in the sky. Known for his sporting ‘double act’ with Frank Bruno, he popped in his sleep, aged 84. May he rest in peace and never have to hear the words “Know what I mean, ‘Arry?” ever again.

And for all you Airplane! fans out there, you’ll be saddened to hear that the legendary Captain Oveur watched his final movie about gladiators and then had fish for dinner. Peter Graves died at 83, following a suspected heart attack.

March: Putting Foot in it

Clogpoppers reverberated with shouts of joy as the first points of the year were scored, when former Labour leader Michael Foot was announced as having taking one for the team at the ripe old age of 96.

This places James firmly on the first rung of the points table, although his only chance of further points rests on the chubby shoulders of footballing crybaby – and certified loon – Paul Gascoigne until he deigns to make a full list.

February: Not a good month for Alexanders

First fash designer and enfant terrible [apparently], Alexander McQueen hanged himself in his wardrobe [literally] after 40 years of living, but then former US Secretary of State Alexander Hague went and shuffled off his mortal coil at the grand old age of 85.

Former jockey and airport-thriller writer Dick Francis popped off too, aged 89, of natural causes. Meanwhile, former VP and criminal mastermind Dick Cheney is ill in hospital, so maybe February won’t be a good month for Dicks either….

January…

2010 spluttered into first gear with the death of actress Jean Simmons. At first I thought they meant Gene Simmons from Kiss, which would have been marginally more interesting.

And then came the news that reclusive author J D Salinger had finally gone off to the great reading group in the sky, aged 91, after hanging around on many a death list for years and years.

Oh, and Ali Hassan al-Majid AKA ‘Chemical Ali’ has been hanged. I don’t think the laws of Clogpopping allow for the selection of anyone soon to be on trial for crimes against humanity in a country which accommodates the death penalty, but if they do can I have first dibs on Radavan Karadzic?

Santa brought us nothing!

There we were, gearing up for an end-of-decade celebrity-death extravaganza, festive points and everything – but NO! December was very low on interest.

OK, so the big news was that Hollywood ‘starlet’ Brittany Murphy [no, I don't know what she's been in....] popped at the tender age of 32, but, quite frankly, that was a mere blip on the celebrity radar compared to the infinitely sadder death of Arnold ‘Top Cat’ Stang who, at 91, answered Officer Dibble’s phone for the last time. Bye bye, TC.

Here’s to 2010! Surely a royal has to go THIS year???

November. Nothing.

Well, except Edward Woodward. And he was only known for his vaguely amusing name. Clogpoppers likes to think that everyone is saving their last breaths for some sort of giant festive extravaganza. Remember, it’s double points for Christmas day, folks!

Ah, October

Time of autumn and pumpkins…and harvest time for Mr G Reaper.

Kicking off with legendary photographer Irving Penn, aged 92, he then moved on to boy band member Stephen Gately, 33, who seems to have popped while enjoying a holiday in Majorca, apparently with no suspicious circumstances. He leaves behind a husband, Andy. I only mention this as last week Matt Lucas’s former husband – and Billie Piper lookalike – Kevin McGee was carried away on the ferry of death.

Not a good time for the “civil partner”. Anybody up for placing a bet on David Furnish??

September was quiet, until…

After a few false starts and several premature obituaries, Patrick Swayze – very 80s superstar – finally popped his clogs after his fight against pancreatic cancer, aged 57. What I want to know is, am I the only person who’s never seen ‘Dirty Dancing’?

His timely passing heralds the first showing of young Penfold on the Clogpoppers leaderboard, so that’s champagne for everyone! Well, except poor Patrick of course.

And not content with grimly reaping Mr Swayze, the news is just in that everyone’s favourite drunk celebrity chef, Keith Floyd, has died of a heart attack aged 65. Glad to hear it wasn’t something he ate.

Two Kennedys in a month – and that means points!

After the loss earlier of his sister Eunice earlier this month, Senator Edward Kennedy finally popped after his brain tumour, aged 77. President Obama is leading the tributes, calling him an “extraordinary leader”, and showing no sign of annoyance that his first holiday as leader of the free world had been so rudely hijacked by an inconvenient political death.

But of course, congrats are in order as the Passing of Teddy means the first points on the board for Helen Louise! Although, probably the only points to come from that particular Predictor as she refuses to make a full list….

Skipping The List: August

Guitar maker Les Paul popped off, aged 94. Strumming superstars The Edge and Slash paid tribute, as seemingly nobody with a proper name was available for comment that day.

Another Kennedy hit the dust when charitable campaigner Eunice Kennedy Shriver popped her clogs at 88, immediate cause of death not yet disclosed….so stand by for another Kennedy conspiracy theory.

Elsewhere, 80s film director John Hughes died of a heart attack aged 59, and former prez of the Philippines, Cory Aquino, died aged 76 after colon cancer.

But obviously the saddest passing of the month is reserved for Sam, the koala bear who survived the Australian bushfires, drank from a firefighter’s water bottle and touched the hearts of millions. Apparently, she’s going to be stuffed and preserved on display in the Melbourne Museum for all eternity. Sort of like Lenin, only cute.

Skipping The List: July

A late – and most likely, last – entry for this month comes in the form of “footballing legend” Sir Bobby Robson, who finally kicked the ball into cancer’s goal aged 76.

Walter Cronkite, America’s most famous newsman, popped aged 92. This surprised me, not because of his age but because I thought he’d been dead for absolutely years already.

Elsewhere, Frank McCourt, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of ‘Angela’s Ashes’, shuffled off aged 78 after a cancer battle, while the man who invented Captain Pugwash grabbed his cabin boy one last time and sailed off in to the sunset on the Black Pig.